All About Kimberly

Sailing Along the Life of Single Parenthood

Sunday Smile #14

Sunday Smile

Sunday Smile is a meme to share something about your week that brought a smile to your face (and will bring one to your readers). For me this is usually a forwarded message I got….the best one I received that week – the one that made me laugh out loud. So check out my Sunday Smile today and then go back to your blog and post something to make your reader’s smile – a forwarded like message, a story about something that happened to you, or even a photo of a funny moment….Then come back and sign Mr. Linky below so that we can all enjoy each other’s smiles as the week progresses and we get busy.

Poor Tom

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, ”I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.” 

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.  

“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably  as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.  

“Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, “Thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”  

All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.  

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Tom.”  

The entire congregation held its breath.  

“I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”

Sunday Smile #13

Sunday Smile

Sunday Smile is a meme to share something about your week that brought a smile to your face (and will bring one to your readers). For me this is usually a forwarded message I got….the best one I received that week – the one that made me laugh out loud. So check out my Sunday Smile today and then go back to your blog and post something to make your reader’s smile – a forwarded like message, a story about something that happened to you, or even a photo of a funny moment….Then come back and sign Mr. Linky below so that we can all enjoy each other’s smiles as the week progresses and we get busy.

Taking A Woman To Bed

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78 ?

At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 — She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 — She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 — You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 — If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!

At 78 — What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???

Sunday Smile #10

Sunday Smile is a meme to share something about your week that brought a smile to your face (and will bring one to your readers).  For me this is usually a forwarded message I got….the best one I received that week – the one that made me laugh out loud.  So check out my Sunday Smile today and then go back to your blog and post something to make your reader’s smile – a forwarded like message, a story about something that happened to you, or even a photo of a funny moment….Then come back and sign Mr. Linky below so that we can all enjoy each other’s smiles as the week progresses and we get busy.

This week….a news article I read this week:

Dog Pack Attacks Gator In Florida

At times nature can be cruel but there is also a raw beauty and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest predators, can still fall victim to implemented ‘team work’ strategy made possible due to the tight knit social structure and “survival of the pack mentality” bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine.

Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing. The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

Not for the squeamish.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

Had you going didn’t I?