All About Kimberly

Sailing Along the Life of Single Parenthood

Sunday Smile #16

Sunday Smile

Sunday Smile is a meme to share something about your week that brought a smile to your face (and will bring one to your readers). For me this is usually a forwarded message I got….the best one I received that week – the one that made me laugh out loud. So check out my Sunday Smile today and then go back to your blog and post something to make your reader’s smile – a forwarded like message, a story about something that happened to you, or even a photo of a funny moment….Then come back and sign Mr. Linky below so that we can all enjoy each other’s smiles as the week progresses and we get busy.

This Sunday’s funny might not be so funny to those that live in other parts of the world, but here in Texas this tends to be something that we have all noticed as years progress.

Fifty Years of Math

Last week I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $ 2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tell her to just give me two quarters , but she hailed the manager for help. While he tried to explain the transaction to her, she stood there and cried. Why do I tell you this? Because of the evolution in teaching math since the 1950s:

1. Teaching Math In 1950s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?

2. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

3. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

4. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers, and if you feel like crying, it’s ok. )

6. Teaching Math In 2009
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?

Sunday Smile #15

Sunday Smile

Sunday Smile is a meme to share something about your week that brought a smile to your face (and will bring one to your readers). For me this is usually a forwarded message I got….the best one I received that week – the one that made me laugh out loud. So check out my Sunday Smile today and then go back to your blog and post something to make your reader’s smile – a forwarded like message, a story about something that happened to you, or even a photo of a funny moment….Then come back and sign Mr. Linky below so that we can all enjoy each other’s smiles as the week progresses and we get busy.

What Every Man Wanted for Valentine’s Day

manremote

Sunday Smile #14

Sunday Smile

Sunday Smile is a meme to share something about your week that brought a smile to your face (and will bring one to your readers). For me this is usually a forwarded message I got….the best one I received that week – the one that made me laugh out loud. So check out my Sunday Smile today and then go back to your blog and post something to make your reader’s smile – a forwarded like message, a story about something that happened to you, or even a photo of a funny moment….Then come back and sign Mr. Linky below so that we can all enjoy each other’s smiles as the week progresses and we get busy.

Poor Tom

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express Praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium. She said, ”I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.” 

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.  

“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably  as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.  

“Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, “Thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”  

All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.  

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Tom.”  

The entire congregation held its breath.  

“I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”

Sunday Smile #13

Sunday Smile

Sunday Smile is a meme to share something about your week that brought a smile to your face (and will bring one to your readers). For me this is usually a forwarded message I got….the best one I received that week – the one that made me laugh out loud. So check out my Sunday Smile today and then go back to your blog and post something to make your reader’s smile – a forwarded like message, a story about something that happened to you, or even a photo of a funny moment….Then come back and sign Mr. Linky below so that we can all enjoy each other’s smiles as the week progresses and we get busy.

Taking A Woman To Bed

What is the difference between girls/woman aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, and 78 ?

At 8 — You take her to bed and tell her a story.

At 18 — You tell her a story and take her to bed.

At 28 — You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.

At 38 — She tells you a story and takes you to bed.

At 48 — She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.

At 58 — You stay in bed to avoid her story.

At 68 — If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story!

At 78 — What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you???