All About Kimberly

Sailing Along the Life of Single Parenthood

Monthly Archives: September 2008

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck

Here’s your morning funny…Got this one in an email too.  Found it quite entertaining.  :) Living in the woods of East Texas where we are all proud to be “rednecks,” I found this one amusing.

Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.

The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.

Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you,screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

……………………………………………….

THINK CAREFULLY AND THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat’s Answer:

Well, that’s not enough information to answer the question!

Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway,and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he’d be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this ahappier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and try to come to a consensus.

…………………………………………………………………………….

Republican’s Answer:

BANG!

…………………………………………………………………………..

Redneck’s Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG !
Click….. (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! Click

Daughter: ‘Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver tips or hollow points?! ‘

Son: ‘Can I shoot the next one?!’

Wife: ‘You ain’t taking that to the taxidermist!!

Banking Crisis: SOLVED!!

A funny for your Sunday evening:

Hi Pals,
I’m against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG. Instead, I’m in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let’s assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.

Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a We Deserve It Dividend.

Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let’s assume a tax rate of 30%.

Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage – housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans – what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college – it’ll be there
Save in a bank – create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car – create jobs
Invest in the market – capital drives growth
Pay for your parent’s medical insurance – health care improves
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean – or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.

If we’re going to re-distribute wealth let’s really do it…instead of trickling out a puny $1000.00 economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we’re going to do an $85 billion bailout, let’s bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG – liquidate it. Sell off its parts. Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate. Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here’s my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn’t. Sure it’s a crazy idea that can “never work.”

But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom? I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

Halloween Contest….

Since here at All About Kimberly we’ll be participating in an awesome Halloween party soon, I want to take a minute to tell you about another Halloween blogging opportunity.  Over at An Island life you can be entered into a chance to win a $100 gift certificate to The Halloween Party Store.  This is such a great prize, and if you head over to The Halloween party store, you’ll see what I’m talking about.  Their prices are very reasonable.  You’ll be able to buy a complete costume and so much more with $100!!  (We’d either buy Cameron one for next year as she already has her Cinderella dress from Disney World for this year or let Becka pick something out!)  Hurry over, contest ends October 5th.

As always, an Island Life has multiple contests going on at one time. Another one I’d love to win:

~~Win a Pilsbury Savoring the Moment gift bag from An Island life. Must enter by October 4th.~~

 

 

 

 

Shopping Sunday

As mentioned previously, we are headed to see the Cheetah Girls October 11th (only 13 days left!).  Becka also turns 17 in October (the 14th) so I spent some time today not working on what I should be working on and instead doing some window browsing around the World Wide Web.  I wanted to find Cameron a “Cheetah outfit” and that has proved to be harder than I guessed.  Being a single mom and making that high teacher salary I do (don’t laugh too hard), It’s very important to me to find the best deals I can. One of my favorite places to find good deals is at Savings.com.

I used them for a great deal on a vacation to South Texas that I booked with Travelocity discount codes I found on Savings.com. It was a great mini getaway that I desperately needed at the time. Not too long ago, my cell phone contract was ending so I looked around for good deals with different carriers before resigning with my current provider. I found some Verizon Wireless coupons that were amazing.  If only Verizon’s service was a little better in our area.

Today though my focus was electronics and makeup.  Yes, two odd combinations.  Becka has expressed interest in my makeup so I’ve been looking for good deals on Bare Minerals, but she also wants a laptop (and I want her desk out of my living area) so I’ve been checking for good prices on laptops. Trying to decide if that should be a birthday or Christmas present.

If you’re an online shopper, I would highly recommend bookmarking this site and checking it before each purchase you make online. 

The Monster Mash!!

Halloween is fast approaching.  We pulled some of our Halloween decorations out last night and this afternoon so we’ll be ready to start setting them around come October, but our house isn’t the only place that we’ll be celebrating.  We’ll be having our own Monster Celebration here on Wednesday October 8th, and I can’t wait!  I love parties.  And what’s a blogging party without a prize?  So stay tuned as we’ll start celebrating Halloween here  a couple weeks early!